SGALGG: Emmy Edition

You know, there wasn’t even that much SGALGG at the Emmys, more evidence that it was a generally forgettable year (minus a few notable exceptions, who of course helped prove the rule). But I worked hard to find you the closest I could find to Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals at the awards this year, because I believe in selfless endeavors that betters humanity. Also, I just like it when ladies hold hands. And this gives me more opportunities to post pictures of Tina and Amy. Award season gives you lemons, you turn it into Liz Lemonade. Too much? Well, I tried. On to the SGALGG.

Tina & Amy

I love how it looks like Tina is totally checking out Amy’s ass and Amy is all, “Like what you see, of course you do.”

Alison Pill & Jane Fonda

I don’t know what Jane is trying to do to Allison, but I’m not entirely sure it’s consensual.

Diahann Carroll & Kerry Washington

Two beautiful women who look beautiful together. No joke, just facts.

“Orange Is the New Black” Emmy Selfies

Stop being so adorable, cast. You only make me miss you more.

Sofia Vergara & Padma Lakshmi

I. Will. Be. In. My. Bunk.

Sofia Vergara & Julie Bowen

Clearly Julie’s being all possessive with Sofia after seeing that display with Padma.

Claire Danes & Lena Dunham

If you watched the E! Red Carpet, you saw Lena & Claire discuss being BFFs. You also saw they awkward goodbye faux makeout.

Bonus: GGALGG

Carla Gallo & Sarah Paulson

I really wanted the gay lady to win for playing a gay lady. Better luck with “American Horror Story: Coven,” Sarah.

Clea DuVall & Natasha Lyonne

Graham + Megan 4EVA

SGALGG: Oscars Edition

And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming. So the Oscars were on Sunday. If you want a comprehensive recap of the big show (Cliffs Notes version: boobs song, sexist joke, Jaws theme, J-Falls perfectly) check it out over at AfterEllen. If you want to see a bunch of Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals together, well, you know where to go. No, wait, don’t go anywhere. Stay here, because that’s where they are. No, I mean it. Just scroll down.

Jennifer Lawrence & Anne Hathaway

Don’t they look like the toppers on a gay lady same-sex wedding cake? Replace those shiny naked golden men with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and it’s pretty much ready for the “I Dos.”

Catherine Zeta-Jones & Jennifer Hudson

I am telling you, I’m not going…down on you in front of all of these people. Wait until later, darling.

Amanda Seyfried & Jessica Chastain

Zero Dark Eyes Up, Chastain. Eyes up.

Norah Jones & Adele

Think of the beautiful music they could make together. Figuratively and literally.

Reese Witherspoon, Naomi Watts & Isla Fisher

Naomi is the shiny meat in this beautiful cobalt blue sandwich.

Sally Field & Amy Poehler

Kiss! Make it a threesome with Tina Fey! Or with Aubrey Plaza since she’s leering at you two together in the background already.

Halle Berry & Paula Patton

No, you’re prettier. No, you’re prettier. No, you’re prettier. No, you’re… Sorry, I’m imagining their conversation.

Anne Hathaway & Sarah Silverman

Unlike Zeta-Jones and JHud, they’re not waiting to be alone to make the magic happen.

Miley Cyrus & Kelly Osbourne

This is becoming a regular thing for these two. Same time, same place next year I can only assume.

Jennifer Aniston & Charlize Theron

The blurriness of this picture was obviously caused by Jen lunging toward Charlize because no one has the kind of restraint to hold herself back when presented with that much stunning.

Charlize’s Hair

I’ve never asked a haircut to call me before. But in this case, gurl, call me.

SGALGG: Globes Edition

You didn’t think I’d let a big fancy dress up party with shiny trophies go by without a heaping helping of Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Granted, the evening had Gay Gals Acting Like Out Gay Gals thanks to Jodie Foster. (p.s. Love how the camera operator panicked when the gay stuff started and panned to the nearest lesbian, Jane Lynch.) Still, nothing like a bunch of fancy frocks to make a gal feel pretty and witty and gay. And they ladies spread the love around liberally this year. And with so many lovelies about, wouldn’t you too?

Anne Hathaway & Amanda Seyfried

The way they were snuggling on the stage during “Les Miserables’” big win made me think we had secretly crashed their wedding.

Anne Hathaway & Jessica Chastain

Well, I’d want a hug with those arms, too, Anne.

When hugging it out doesn't do it, by all means resort to kissing it out.

Lena Dunham & Girls

It's mandatory for all winning costars to snuggle at the Globes. I approve.

Lena Dunham & Julia Louis-Dreyfus

I find a big smooch soothes a los quite well, too.

Vanessa Hudgens & Selena Gomez

Once the envy of tween girls everywhere, now the object of affection of an entirely different group of girls – tweens and otherwise.

Vanessa Hudgens & Ashley Tisdale

They look like guests attending Anne and Amanda’s wedding.

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

NOW KISS, TIMES INFINITY.

Tina & Amy Redux

This is what I imagine they look like after the aforementioned mandatory makeout session.

Thandie Newton & Lucy Liu

Yet another couple of invitees to the Hathaway-Seyfried nuptials. I wonder what they bought off the registry.

Jennifer Lopez & Jessica Alba

The girl to the left behind them is thinking one thing: Threeway!

BONUS: GGALGG

Coming out has clearly made Jodie want to do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight.

SGALGG: Shine Bright Like a Diamond

Right. So I’m normally not the kind of gal to go for those girl-on-girl exploity kind of photoshoots that run in fashion and lad mags. But it has been a long week and there is no shame in just enjoying the visual smorgasbord that happens when Rihanna and Kate Moss mingle for the cameras for V magazine. Now, I like Rihanna a lot – despite her seeming forgiveness of the unforgiveable Chris Brown. And Kate Moss, well, she reminds me of the 90s and those were generally pretty good for me. So, yeah. Hey, I never said this place was exclusively highbrow. And you know you love the smut, kittens. You love it.

SGALGG: Secretary of Ogles

Two days of serious political discourse and then this. Hey, Hill. Her eyes are - oh, who are we kidding. We'd stare, too. Esteemed Secretary of State Hillary Clinton met esteemed singer/reality show dream crusher Christina Aguilera last week and had a little, shall we say, focus problems. Nice to know that even the most accomplished and intelligent l women in the world can succumb to a Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals moment. But then, Christina does have a lot to offer and it would almost be rude not to notice. Get it, girl. Hill for Ogler in Chief, 2016.

SGALGG: Emmys Edition

Oh, Emmy Awards. Each year I have such high hopes that only the most deserving will wing and each year something like Jon Cryer happens. And I even used to love Duckie. While they’re not always the most merit wothy of meritocracies, they are almost always a great source of Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Like whatever is happening here between Sofia Vergara, Sofia Vergara’s mom and Julie Bowen. Well, Julie did go on about sister wives in her award speech. So keeping it all in the family must just come naturally. A few more SGALGG moments from this year’s Emmys which merit your attention.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus & Amy Poehler

Even Julia thought it was a shame Amy didn’t win. But at least they hugged it out.

Lucy Liu & Julianne Moore

In my head, Julianne just told Lucy she wanted to see her Russia in her house. Are those euphemisms? You betcha.

Jessica Lange & Connie Britton

You can’t blame Connie for taking a shot at Jessica. In fact you’re probably a little jealous.

Morena Baccarin & Claire Danes

While nothing overtly SGALGG-y is happening here, you have to believe the magnificent V in Morena’s dress is giving Claire pause.

Amy Poehler & Tina Fey

If I can’t marry My Fake TV Wife, then I want Amy to have her and I want them to make the funniest babies in all the world together.

Ginnifer Goodwin, Emily VanCamp & Julie Bowen

Julie just made Ginnifer and Emily and offer they can’t refuse.

Katee Sackhoff & Tricia Helfer

What happens in the photobooth rarely every just happens in the photobooth. Ahem.

Christina Hendricks

While she isn’t doing anything gay, she is certainly making a lot of new gays just by sitting there.

Sarah Paulson

This is what I call a Gay Gal Acting Like a Gay Gal. I mean, really, look at how excited she is at the sight of sensible shoes.

Sofia Vergara & Julie Bowen

Screw Jay and Phil. Think how big a hit “Modern Family” would be if we got to see Gloria and Claire do this every week.

NSFW BONUS

So Sofia Vergara suffered a bit of a wardrobe malfunction right before “Modern Family” took home the Emmy for best comedy. I think this might be proof there is a benevolent God, and she loves us lesbians.