Ellen DeGrammyres

So, I’ve stopped watching the Grammys with anything more than the most passing interest for wardrobe malfunctions and lip-synch fails years ago. But yesterday after tuning in briefly and then turning to my good friend The Internet, to see what it thought, I was pleased to see that apparently Ellen DeGeneres won the Grammys. I mean what else can you deduce from these photos but that The Great Panted One and Portia had a ball and looked great doing it. Lesbians, we are in your music awards having all the funs.

Ellen & Beyoncé

This photo makes me wish they were in a Laverne & Shirley style sitcom where they shameel shemozzled schlemiel and schlemazeled down the street together.

Ellen & Adele

Adele wants to see that sitcom, too.

Ellen & Lena Dunham

I like how they’re both trying to pretend skeezy Willy Wonka isn’t standing creepily behind them.

Ellen & Nicole Kidman

Nicole clearly wants to kiss Ellen, but this is the most her face muscles can muster.

Ellen, Portia & Ryan Seacrest

I think Randy’s face says it all.

Ellen, Portia & Katy Perry

Best photo sequence of the Grammys, possibly ever.

Ellen, Portia & Kelly Clarkson

And then best photobomb of the Grammys, possibly every.

Supper time

[Click to embiggen the Holy]

I am not a religious person. I worship no gods except Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Rachel Maddow. But sometimes, sometimes the spirit does move me. Particularly when presented with the Lesbian Last Supper. Say hello to Lesbian Jesus and her super gay disciples by artist Bronwyn Lundberg. So while the season of faith and a fat guy in a red suit may be over, let the holy glow of Ellen and her Queer Apostles Jane, Sandra, Rachel, Linda, Shane, Portia, Heather, Wanda, KD, Lily, Melissa and Rosie warm you during these cold winter months. Except for you, Australia. You have fun worshipping in your board shorts.

p.s. I love how all the actresses are named except for “Shane McCutcheon” as Judas. Love her Chucks though. So much more fashion forward than flip-flops.
p.p.s. For the fellas, there is also a the Creation of Neil gay Sistine Chapel for your viewing pleasure.

Monster lane

You know what I miss? So many things. My ability to do a handstand. My ability to remember where I parked my car at the end of the day. My ability to eat half a pizza and an order of breadsticks with cheese sauce at 2 a.m. and not gain 30 pounds and extreme hearth burn overnight. But I digress. What I’m missing today is the zany magic wonder that is a Brian Fuller series on my TV screen. You know, the man behind “Wonderfalls” and “Pushing Daisies” and “Dead Like Me.” His style is as signature as that “chung-chung” sound from “Law & Order.” So imagine my delight when I heard that his modern-day Munsters reboot “Mocking Bird Lane” was on. Then on off. Then maybe on again. Then a one-shot Halloween special to air on NBC. Confusing, I know. Look, I was never a huge Munsters fan. I was more of an Addams Family girl myself. But I’ll gladly tune in, even if only for a night, to get a little of that old Fuller magic again. Plus, if enough of us watch, it might actually start airing on our TV screens on the regular. And then I could cross if off my list of things I miss. Which, as we’re all aware, is the real priority here.

p.s. I can’t decide whether Portia with the dark hair makes me purr or pause. A little of both, I think.