My Weekend Crush

Kathy Bates is perhaps the only actress alive who could make you feel almost sorry for a racist. Almost. Her portrayal of the horrific Madame LaLaurie on “American Horror Story: Coven” is truly magnificent. Like the always supreme Jessica Lange, Kathy has fully embraced both the overtones of crazy camp and undertones of pitiful pathos that run through the twisted heart of all “American Horror Story” stories. She shows us the promise of this weekly mish-mash of gushing blood and broken taboos.

Oh course, I’ve loved her since the days she was a wee lass breaking ankles for fun and obsession. Kathy has always been exceptional, even when some of the work has been below her capabilities. And us gay ladies will keep a special place in our hearts for us because she was our on-screen surrogate in learning about the timeless love between Idgie and Ruth in “Fried Green Tomatoes.” That car ramming scene in the parking lot remains one of my all-time favorite moments to rewatch and bask in the empowerment. “Face it, girls. I’m older and I have more insurance.” Towanda!

Kathy was also predictably spectacular, and heartbreaking, as the lesbian political consultant for the thinly veiled Bill Clinton character in “Primary Colors. She absolutely stole the movie, as she steals most things she is in. And so she is doing the same in “American Horror Story: Coven.” This is no small feat considering her phenomenal roster of co-star.

Madame LaLaurie is a despicable character, made more so because she was a real-life monster from history who tortured her slaves in 1834. Yet Kathy makes her befuddlement upon waking up in 2013 to find her worst nightmares are real (i.e. a black President of the United States of America) almost sympathetic. Almost. We hate her, but damn if we don’t love to watch her. Plus nothing can top her hissing, “Liiiiiiiiiiiiiessss” at Jessica’s Fiona upon learning the news. Really, nothing. It was worth sitting through this week’s entire stomach-churning hour of mother-son incest, murder and minotaur sex. Happy weekend, all.

Witchy Women

Despite my better judgment, I am enjoying the shit out of “American Horror Story: Coven” so far this season. Like, really, I look forward to this insane locomotive of witchy-bitchy magnificence each week. It’s so unexpected because when “American Horror Story” first premiered two seasons ago I was like – No. All of the no. I’m a legendary chicken and have watched most horror movies from behind a pillow and if no pillow is available with my hands over my eyes.

Now I realize saying I like “American Horror Story: Coven” will make some folks angry. There are so many things not right about this show. Among them are Ryan Murphy’s depictions of women, Ryan Murphy’s depiction of a gang rape and Ryan Murphy’s depiction of the torture of (literally) faceless slaves.

If you want to get very angry at me because I continue to watch a Ryan Murphy show, that is your right. And if you want to get very angry at me because I continue to watch a show that featured a voyeuristic rape and graphic torture, that is your right. If you want to get very angry at me because I continue to watch a show that believes women’s main motivations are youth, boys and babies, that is your right. Also, one of the witches “powers” is she that has an honest-to-goodness killer vagina. I mean Jesus fucking Christ. I find so much of this show horrifically, horrifically problematic. I am not saying you should continue (or even start) to watch this show because of these problems. I am just saying why I choose to continue tune in. Those reasons are multi-fold. But if I had to enumerate them that would be 1) Jessica Lange, 2) Angela Bassett, 3) Kathy Bates, 4) Sarah Paulson and 5) Lily Rabe.



This is hands down the most impressive cast of female stars working together on TV today. There are certainly other shows with ridiculously talented and amazing actresses on TV. But I don’t think there is another show with the sheer volume of ridiculously talented and amazing actresses working together in one ensemble on the air right now.

And we have not even gotten to the younger generation which includes Taissa Farmiga, Emma Roberts, Gabourey Sidibe and Jamie Brewer. Oh, on, and I am waiting impatiently for the return of Frances Conroy.

These women are good. They are damn good. Getting to watch them act together is an absolute treat. That the material does not always live up to their talent is a damn shame. That the material sometimes is outrageously below them is an absolute crime. But what they do with the material they have is nothing short of miraculous.

But what “American Horror Story” Coven” gets right, it absolutely nails. There is real venom and humor and darkness and – believe it or not - campy fun in these stories. For all of its copious issues, this is also still almost exclusively a show about female power. And that, that’s something.

As always, I am in it for the ladies. And these ladies cast a damn fine spell. (Sorry, I had to. It’s a show about witches, people.)