Gender Fuck Thursday: Harlem Edition

It’s fun to think of ourselves as the most progressive generation. The most unconventional. The most authentic. The most original. But history teaches us differently, if we only bother to look. You think you’re a badass genderqueer in 2013? Yeah, meet the out lesbians, drag kings and cross-dressing ladies of the 1920s Harlem Renaissance. Almost 100 years ago they were out of the closet and singing about it. Macklemore ain’t got nothing on Ma Rainey crooning “I went out last night with a crowd of my friends/It must’ve been women, ‘cause I don’t like no men/Wear my clothes just like a fan/Talk to the gals just like any old man” (“Prove It On Me Blues”).

Also, damn, if they didn’t look fine. It’s called a Renaissance for a reason. I mean, really, next time you go to pride and see the sea of women in cargo shorts and skinny jeans, think back to this dapper display. Sometimes they really don’t make them like they used to.

Gladys Bentley

A blues singer in the Harlem Renaissance known for wearing tuxedos and top hats (see above). She headlined gay clubs and lesbian bars, among other venues. She even married her white female lover in Atlantic City. Later during the MCarthy Era she denounced her lesbianism because, you know, fucking McCarthy.

Ethel Waters

A blues and jazz singers, Ethel was one of the first black entertainer to move successfully from the black vaudeville and nightclub circuits to what was called “the white time” – a traditional vaudeville circuit played before white audiences.

Florence Mills

A cabaret singer, dancer and comic, Florence was known as “The Queen of Happiness.” She died at the height of her career at age 32 from an infection from tuberculosis and more than 10,000 people visited the funeral home to pay their respects. Also, she may or may not have invented steampunk.

But seriously, you need to listen to “Prove It On Me Blues” immediately.

Take that, Millennials.

Vacation Vixen: Alison Brie

I do not watch “Mad Men.” Nor do I watch “Community.” But if Internet chatter is to believe Alison Brie is lovely in both. And it’s a lovely Thursday and she is wearing a lovely suit. So, well, there’s that. What, they can’t all be deep. I’m on vacation.

Gender Fuck Swinton: Sleeping Beauty

To Swinton: To be fiercely weird, weirdly fierce, just fierce, also weird. Gotta hand it to Tilda, she keeps it interesting. The latest exploits of The Swinton was to sleep in a glass box in New York’s Museum of Modern Art. Twice in the last month. The exhibit is a reprisal of her 1995 performance art piece “The Maybe,” in which she slept in a glass box.

She will make about a half dozen or more unannounced appearances at the MoMa between now and the end of the year to delight and confound onlookers. I don’t know about you, but if I lived in New York, this would pretty much mirror my exact reaction to this news.

"No, I feel fine. My favorite celebrity of all time is in a glass tank downtown." - me canceling my date just now.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) March 23, 2013

Now, we can argue about the merits of this artistic expression, but why bother? Art exists in the unexplained. The ability to elicit emotions out of thin air using only paint or pixels or music or movement or even just glass, steel, mattress, pillow, linen, water, spectacles and an Oscar-winning actress.

In fact, I tend to think Tilda lives her whole life as an extended piece of performance art. Well, maybe just her hair. And her suits. And, fine, her everything.

And then there’s that crazy mcnuttypants “The Stars (Are Out Tonight)” Tilda did with David Bowie which, a month later, I’m still trying to make heads or tails of. All I know is, Gender Fuck Thursday were made for Tilda Swinton. Or perhaps Tilda Swinton made Gender Fuck Thursdays.

p.s. Anyone have a jet on hand they can fly me from the left coast to the right the next time Swinton decides to make a surprise appearance inside a glass box in NYC? Call me.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Whoa. Right. So. Where was I? Oh yeah, how about them apples? I’m not a big makeup wearer – like at all. But I do appreciate nontraditional concepts of feminine beauty used in makeup company advertising. So well done, MAC, for using female bodybuilder Jelena Abbou as the face (and biceps) of their new Strength line. I’m still not gonna buy the makeup. Or that dress, which looks a little dominatrix trash bag chic for my taste. But, damn, if I don’t covet those muscles. Happy New Year of Gender Fuck Thursdays to us all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Fall TV Edition

You know what else fall means? Our favorite TV ladies returning to us, sometimes while wearing lovely suits. Sometimes for their respective TV shows, sometimes because ladies look nice when they wear a nicely tailored jacket. Whatever the reason, we can all agree it’s a win for us, the viewing audience.

Lindsey Shaw, Pretty Little Liars

Paige McCullers channels Marlene Dietrich and I like it.

Jane Lynch, Glee

Admit it, this is a vast improvement over the rack suit.

Anna Torv, Fringe

Seeing Anna with her hands shoved into her pockets makes me feel even more terrible that I stopped watching “Fringe.”

Lana Parrilla, Once Upon a Time

You Swan Queeners sure gave Rizzles a run for their money in the AE Femslash Thunderdome. Respect. Big time.

Jaime Murray, Warehouse 13

Each time H.G. returns on screen I scream “KISS MYKA NOW, YOU BRITISH TWIT!” But on the inside – mostly.

Ellen DeGeneres

Someone grabbed her tie in the dark that morning.

Naya Rivera

I don’t understand what’s happening with the crotch of her pants here. But I thank Naya profusely for giving me more reasons to stare long and hard in that general direction. Ahem.