I have always had a thing for Jodie Foster. And I’ve always hoped she would find happiness in her (very) private life. I kind of thought she had, what with the settling down and the beautiful Cydney and the kids and all. But then sometimes life gets a little wonky and you break up and you date other people and you go on an internationally televised award show and sorta, kinda, for all intents and purposes* come out while proclaiming your singledom. And now E! News – if they are to be trusted, which means grab the salt shaker – says you are dating Alexandra Hedison (that’s Dylan to us “The L Word” watchers and Ellen DeGeneres’ ex-girlfriend to everyone else). To which I say, get it girl. Sure, it’s weird that the celesbian dating pool is apparently poorly stocked. I mean, how many times can folks catch the same few fish? But, you know what, who cares. Be happy. Be healthy. Be horny. Just don’t let Alexandra tape you two having sex because she’s definitely going to use it to blackmail you later causing you to lose your fortune and have to move in with Leisha Hailey. Which, now that I think about it, sounds kind of fun. OK, not the poor part. Also you’re a smart lady, so I’m sure you’ve made wise retirement investments. But, I mean, Leisha does seem fun. Wait, am I confusing real life and television again? Either way, just let it happen. Happy weekend, all.
p.s. I still wouldn’t let Alexandra around too many kitchen knives. Just to be on the safe side.
* Grammar, yo.
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