Gayzzoli Ahoy

Our totally gay non-gay gals returned this week. And I, dutifully, have returned with your Rizzoli & Isles Subtext Recaps. I do this because, well, it has to be done. Also because the show is so much more fun when you tune out the ridiculous romantic scenarios with dudes and just enjoy the chemistry between the women. Or, like at my house, have your cable suddenly cut out anytime Jane or Maura inappropriately touch and/or awkwardly touch with someone of the opposite sex. Of course, the show makes my job easy. And Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander make it even easier. And the promo videos – be they behind the scenes of photoshoots or previews from TNT themselves – make it the easiest. I mean, come on.

Check out the season's first Gayzzoli Recap a little later today on AfterEllen. UPDATE: Read the first #Gayzzoli Recap of the season here. Just like riding a bike. A big, gay bike.

New year, same Gayzzoli

I have seen your future, and it looks – well, it looks a lot like “Rizzoli & Isles.” The gayest non-gay show on television is back with its mix of ridiculous chemistry and ridiculouser (not a word, but neither are there chief medical examiners for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts that look like Dr. Maura Isles) crime solving.

Will you like it? If you like “Rizzoli & Isles,” of course. Will you be frustrated it? Well, if you are a gay lady who likes “Rizzoli & Isles,” of course. If the first two episodes of the new season are any indication, there’s plenty to make us smile and shake our heads. You know, like normal.

Yet still, I can’t help but love the show. Its banter and bickering keeps bringing me back. As a crime show fan I watch different shows for very specific reasons. Sometimes it’s the pleasure of putting the puzzle together. Sometimes it’s for the satisfaction of the good guys beating the bad guys. And for “Rizzoli & Isles” it’s for the enjoyment of the symbiotic relationship – specifically the symbiotic lady relationship. Because, even in 2013, shows centered around two female leads are sadly a rarity. Fine, it also helps that they totally act like a couple even when talking about their totally unconvincing gentlemen callers.

And, yes, while I understand the real frustration lots of us feel with the too gayzzoli to not be intentional and therefore teasing scenarios that emerge, I have resigned myself to it never being canon in anything but my own fertile noggin. Sure, I wish it was different, but I won’t get mad that it isn’t. Nor will it keep me advocating for more shows with real gay characters in real gay relationships (and championing those that exist – hello “Orphan Black” and “The Fosters,” you lovely things).

So, in just over two weeks when Jane and Maura are back for another season of “The Adorable Bickersons,” I’ll be there. With my subtext bells on. Until then, we always have the bloopers.

A Rizzoli by any other name

They’re not exactly, but getting closer, and now we finally have a date for being back! The Gayzzoli returns June 18, in eleven weeks from today, and with it will no doubt come more TGTGT, eye sex and subtext than you can shake a stick at. I’ve always been unabashedly into “Rizzoli & Isles” for the chemistry, and not necessarily the incisive crime solving, such that it is. Ahem. So another season for me is another change to sit back and enjoy the delightful shorthand that Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander have developed together on screen. Now that even Santana Lopez has endorsed the lesbian subtext, it’s safe to say this show could be in almost any format and we’d watch. Well, at least I would.

So with that, please enjoy these “Rizzoli & Isles” alternate universe opening credits. I’d set my DVR for all of these shows. Seriously.

The R & I Words


LLBFF Friends


Rizzoli Warrior Princess

Now if only someone would make an “X-Files” version. The Gayzzoli is out there.

Subtext of the season

How these two aren't actually dating each other on this show when they stare at each other like this is one of the great mysteries of the universe. Also, why a show would air its season finale on Christmas Day is one of the other great mysteries of the universe. Really, TNT? Really? Way to make this tired recapper work over the holidays. By the way, read the final Subtext Recap of the season over at AfterEllen.com today tomorrow.

Welcome back, Gayzzoli

Happy We’re Not Gay, We Just Act That Way Day! Otherwise known as “Rizzoli & Isles” premiere day. Everyone’s favorite totally gay, not-gay show about LLBFFs Rizzoli & Isles returns tonight. And having seen the first two new episodes I can assure you there will be gayzzoli. In fact (look away spoilerphobes and skip to the end of the post), I can assure you that the first time we seen Jane and Maura on screen together you will scream, “COME ON.” Really. Really? Here’s a taste.

Yes. Together. In jammies. The morning after. Oh, show. How am I expected to respect the supposed maintext when the first thing you show me is this? Actually, I kind of love it. Sure, sure – subtext is not for everyone. And you have every right to be frustrated or despise it as an endless tease with no ultimate satisfaction. But me, I’m not in it for the payoff. I’m in it for the ridiculous chemistry and blatant subtext that makes me giggle like an idiot even though this is a show about gruesome and horrible murders. So, having seen the first two episodes of the mini five-episode winter season, I can say the gayzzoli rides again. And I’m giggling again. And our gals are totally gay in a non-gay way. Tweet you Big Gay Feelings during the show tonight using the #gayzzoli tag. And then Subtext Recaps will be back at AfterEllen.com each week on Thursday. When the gals look at each other like this, it is almost too easy.

I can only assume in this last photo they are in some sort of couples counseling because of a lingering disagreement over the proper way to squeeze the tube of toothepaste. Happy subtexting.